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    Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2015

    | Not Always Working | Roundups

    February 2015 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Working’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Sending Her Anxiety The Way Of The Dinosaurs (1,565 thumbs up)
    2. The Sweet Taste Of Death (1,400 thumbs up)
    3. Your Attitude Is Handicapped (1,377 thumbs up)
    4. But Her Credit Score Is Alive And Well (1,334 thumbs up)
    5. Finally On The Money (1,259 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    He’ll Have The Obnoxiously Sweet Ham

    , | Australia | Awesome Customers, Coworkers

    (I am working with one coworker who is in a horrible mood and refusing to serve customers unless she absolutely has to. She was wiping a bench and I am carefully washing raw chicken juice off my arms to serve a man who is standing right in front of my coworker, patiently waiting as she ignores him. A loud, slightly deranged regular comes in and, assuming the other customer is being served, approaches me.)

    Loud Customer: *cheerful* “Hey love! How are ya?”

    Me: “I’m good. I hope you’re well! Sorry, but I have to take care of this gentleman here first. You’re next, though. I promise.”

    Loud Customer: “S’fine, what about the other lady? Lady! Hey, heeey! I need some brawn! Pork brawn, thank you, love!”

    Coworker: *defeated sigh*

    (She serves the loud customer and I serve the other man. The loud customer is VERY loudly chattering away about some conspiracy theory and why he doesn’t eat certain hams. My coworker and I both wind up at the wrapping station for our orders at the same time.)

    Coworker: *mutters darkly, so only I can hear* “Holy f****ing h***.”

    Me: “Ha. I love him! He actually made you do your job.”

    Coworker: *cracks her first smile of the day* “I know; I hate it.”

    (As the loud customer left, he practically yelled at my coworker to feel better. Apparently being obnoxious isn’t so bad, as long as you’re sweet at the same time!)

    Can’t ‘Wiggle’ Out Of That One

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Coworkers, New Hires, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I work for the same company. We share a fairly uncommon last name – for example, let’s say that it’s ‘Wigglesworth.’ We’ve just gotten back from vacation and are telling our coworkers about it at our coffee break.  One of the coworkers is fairly new. He’s been there for at least a couple of months.)

    Husband: “It was great! We got to see [Attraction], and the weather was perfect.”

    Me: “We got to see my folks, too, because they live close to [Attraction].”

    Fairly New Coworker: “Hold on. YOU went on this trip, too?”

    Me: “…Yes?”

    Fairly New Coworker: “You travelled together? Wow.” *he’s got a ‘ooh, scandal!’ expression on his face*

    Other Coworker: “You do realize that [Husband] and [My Name] are married, right?”

    Fairly New Coworker: “What? No! How would I know that?”

    Other Coworker: “How about the fact that they’re both named ‘Wigglesworth?'”

    Fairly New Coworker: “Well, how was I supposed to figure that out?!”

    Needs To Prescribe Themselves Some Attentiveness

    | MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’ve been going to the same chain drugstore for a while now. Having moved and been diagnosed with diabetes, taking medication has become a fairly standard part of my life. I am picking some prescriptions when I am told that they can’t find one I had refilled the night before.)

    Clerk: “Huh, that’s strange. It says it was filled this morning by [Pharmacist] but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Well, I really kinda need it. It’s a diabetic medication and I really can’t go skipping a day.”

    (The clerk tells me if I’m willing to wait 20 minutes that they can refill it. I pay for my other medications and he bags them.)

    Clerk: “Okay, that’s all done if you’ll just step to the side at that window they’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

    (I am confused but do as he says as he makes a motion to move my bag of prescriptions to wait with me. The woman behind me, a snobby soccer mom if there was one, immediately steps up as I edge away from the counter. She states her name loudly and starts complaining about how long she’s had to wait and how they really need more staff. After 15 minutes, the people at the other counter confirm what I need and have me sit down. When my prescription is ready I am once again called to the clerk to pay for the last one.)

    Clerk: “Okay and your total is [total]. Would you like to add this to your other bag?”

    (He offers the prescription towards me and I give him a hard look.)

    Me: “You can put it in with the rest of my medications you have.”

    Clerk: “Ma’am, I already gave you your medications.”

    (I look at him and gesture towards my t-shirt, jeans and non-existent purse.)

    Me: “And where exactly do you think I have them? You kept my medications. You never handed them to me.”

    Clerk: “You took your prescriptions. I bagged them and handed them to you.”

    Me: “You did bag them, and then you told me to move to the other window. You never handed them to me.”

    (It was at this time one of the actual pharmacists stepped over.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am. Is there something wrong?”

    Me: “Yes. Your clerk is trying to claim that I have given me my meds but I never got them. I have the one.” *I hold up the one he just rang* “But I don’t know what he did with the other three.”

    (The clerk has now given up and is completely ignoring me, ringing up other customers behind me.)

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like me to call a manager?”

    Me: “Yes, please do. I want you to watch the security footage and find out where my medications went.”

    (I am asked to wait and within a minute a manager shows up. He’s one I’ve dealt with before and have gotten fairly friendly with.)

    Manager: “Don’t worry, [My Name]. We’ll get this all sorted out.”

    Me: “You know I hadn’t thought about it till now, but the girl behind me was named [Name]. You may need to call her.”

    (Another 30 minutes and four missing refills later, it was discovered that the clerk had indeed bagged my medication, and then proceeded to bag the snobby lady’s meds on top of mine and hand her the entire bag. I haven’t seen that clerk at that store since.)


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